As the year comes to a close, the pressure of determining how to reinvent or better oneself beginning January 1 looms. Rather than dwelling on what I am not or what I do not have, I am making the conscious decision to reflect on the past year in an exercise in cultivating gratitude for the present, or I suppose now, the past. The year held moments of revelry and joy among friends, pain and sadness that we prayed God would use for good, the beginning of new traditions as well as faithful fulfillment of the old.
We found many reasons to celebrate in 2011. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
1. Ringing in the new year at Stacey Griffith Sims' wedding in Houston, TX -- a wonderful Vanderbilt reunion weekend spent with Virginia, Katy, Sarah, James, and Vern among many of our younger friends.
2. Amazingly, the Texas girls did not over-hype their secret Valentine's Day gift to us, a mafia wedding themed murder mystery dinner at their apartment. An evening we will not soon forget.
3. My family took a once in a lifetime trip to Europe to visit Robin at the end of her semester studying abroad in Seville, Spain. We spent two weeks touring Madrid, Paris, and London. It was an incredible experience to spend this kind of time in such magical cities with my family. We shared many meals together, visited museums and landmarks, and created a host of memories. I appreciated the culture, art, and language of Madrid since I have spent a significant portion of my life immersed in Spanish classes. I appreciated the inherent beauty and elegance of Paris, along with the food which was by far my favorite. And I loved the history of London preserved in Westminster Abbey and the Churchill War Rooms. I am so grateful that my family had the opportunity to do this together.
4. Not until this year did Memorial Day become one of my favorite holidays. We took full advantage of the long weekend and had a cookout at Wedgewood where we watched The Sandlot on the projector, canoed the Harpeth River with 35 of our closest friends, laughed until we cried while watching Bridesmaids, and spent a long Monday morning at Star Bagel.
5. This summer Memphis was home to a host of celebration as we watched Janet, Elizabeth, Lizzie, and Mary Grace walk down the aisle and begin a new season of life. I am so grateful for the time spent with Hutchison friends this summer at all the events that surrounded these weddings. I am also very grateful for the Lord's provision for each of these dear friends who have found wonderful men to marry and spend the rest of their lives with.
6. The boys of Elmwood claimed the 4th of July and hosted the first annual Steve McNair Invitational Cornhole Tournament, complete with a dunking booth, fireworks, and a patriotic sing-a-long led by none other than Mason. The competition was stiff, but John Michael and I fought our way to the championship game and had our moment of glory with a dramatic firework entrance. Unfortunately the championship game was quick and our loss painful, but we allayed our despair with the hope of a victorious return in 2012.
7. On my birthday Sarah, Emily, Brad, Megan, and I drove to Jackson, MS to meet all of our college friends and spend the weekend celebrating Jeb Raulston's wedding. This weekend was extremely special to me as it represented the first time that our entire group of friends had been together since we graduated from Vanderbilt. We all stayed in the same hotel in downtown Jackson and treated the lobby as if it were the lobby of Branscomb. We had coffee together in the mornings, played board games in the bar in the afternoon, and spent the nights dancing away to the sounds of the Tennessee Tallboys who made a one-time reunion appearance. What a treasure my college friends are to me.
8. We were fortunate enough to have another college wedding to celebrate this year. My dear friend from Vanderbilt, Allison Wilder, got married in Baton Rouge, LA in September. This weekend was a rich reunion among Vanderbilt friends that was a powerful testimony to God's faithfulness in Allison & Critter's relationship. The rehearsal dinner was the most sincere and beautiful time of worship as person after person stood and spoke about the work that God has done in each of their lives individually and together. During the ceremony the pastor shared the Gospel story which was the perfect climax of the weekend.
9. Halloween was another holiday claimed by the boys of Elmwood who invited us into their home, more specifically the room that they transformed into the "Rave Cave" for a night of laughter and dancing. The winner of the costume contest was one Allyson Camp who bore an uncanny resemblance to Mason.
10. Rightfully so, Thanksgiving was a more low key celebration hosted by our house. Our friends gathered together for a potluck dinner and spent many hours around the fire pit playing Catchphrase.
11. And of course, the year in Nashville closed with the annual Tacky Christmas Party hosted by the Wedgewood boys. However this year the boys featured a new addition, Twitter. Doug set up a live Twitter feed on the television at the party so that anyone who tweeted @Wedgewood900 or #TackyWedge would be featured. Beginning with a small group dinner at Melrose Pub and ending with dancing on the front porch of the house, this party was another of my most favorite nights in Nashville.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Freedom
In the past two weeks I have had two conversations of the sort that I want to remember forever. I finally felt ready to join my Church, Midtown, after a year of falling in love with her. The final process in the road to membership is a dinner with an elder's family. Last weekend I went to East Nashville to share a meal with strangers who are pursuing the same goal of membership. The Vetters' home was warm and whimsical and full of life. Quite literally, they have five children with baby #6 on the way. We shared our stories over dinner, and uncharacteristically I had not put two seconds toward thinking about what I would say. When my turn came around, I reflected on my childhood as a model of stability. One school, primarily one home, one set of married parents, one consistent group of friends. I shared that this stability and success gave me a sense of security and identity that was so comfortable that I lived in fear that if it were not preserved, I would be destroyed. That fear led me to work hard in school, in relationships, and in my religion to excel in everything.
The Lord began to break me of this fear driven desire to excel and exceed the expectations of others the summer before my Junior year of high school. The theme of our beach trip was "Freedom in Christ" anchored on John 8:32. Upon hearing that the truth of the Gospel would set me free and having the opportunity to experience that the following month during my first mission trip to the inner city of Baltimore, MD, my life was changed. I was changed. Fast forward through Vanderbilt, the MAcc program, and my first year working at Deloitte, I have struggled to reconcile this freedom with the demands and expectations of others. God is teaching me that I am so deeply and completely loved that my identity need not come from anywhere else. I do not need to strive to please in order to earn love or admiration or worth. With the construction of this Spirit inspired framework, I have begun to see my present struggle with my job more clearly.
The conversation from last Saturday night serves as a beautiful prelude to the conversation I had just this morning. I heard about a woman on staff at Midtown who worked for PWC prior to running the Finance Department at Midtown. In an uncharacteristic surge of boldness, I introduced myself to her after Church a couple weeks ago and asked her to meet with me. I have been eagerly anticipating our time together for the last two weeks because I felt sure that the Lord had something there. Our time at Bongo East this morning was remarkable. Although our personalities differ, we have had similar experiences and have similar desires.
Evy listened to me give background and describe my current situation and shared her own story with me. She validated and affirmed my reactions and desires in a knowing and comforting way, which in and of itself is meaningful. Speaking from her own experience, she delicately reminded me that no job will be able to answer the questions that my soul in actuality is asking. She rephrased my statement, "I want to work for an organization whose mission I can identify with." as "I want my life to have meaning." She reminded me that what I believe about who I am will frame my life more than any job.
When discussing next steps, she asked me to describe my decision making style. I ensured her that it is a painstakingly laborious and thoughtful process of weighing alternatives and seeking counsel from others. I realized that in making a big decision, I am ultimately seeking for someone (often multiple people) to tell me that what I am doing is ok, even right. Evy spoke about the fact that people who are successful have the hardest time making decisions because we feel that our success is the result of our decisions and actions. Therefore we magnify them and place undue pressure on them.
In response to my statements that "I am seeking discernment about the Lord's will for my career" and "I want to be obedient to His calling," she spoke beautifully about the fact that if God is sovereign, we cannot be out of God's will. Even when we make decisions that the Lord has to correct, He is still in control. In light of that reality, she reminded me that I have the freedom to go forward and make a decision without fear. If I believe that God is sovereign, if I am seeking His will, if I know how He speaks to me, if I believe that He is in control of my mind and my desires... then go. And fear not.
What a powerful charge. There is so much freedom in that statement.
Practically speaking, I have no clue what comes next. But I am committed to walking in the freedom of the shadow of the Gospel.
The Lord began to break me of this fear driven desire to excel and exceed the expectations of others the summer before my Junior year of high school. The theme of our beach trip was "Freedom in Christ" anchored on John 8:32. Upon hearing that the truth of the Gospel would set me free and having the opportunity to experience that the following month during my first mission trip to the inner city of Baltimore, MD, my life was changed. I was changed. Fast forward through Vanderbilt, the MAcc program, and my first year working at Deloitte, I have struggled to reconcile this freedom with the demands and expectations of others. God is teaching me that I am so deeply and completely loved that my identity need not come from anywhere else. I do not need to strive to please in order to earn love or admiration or worth. With the construction of this Spirit inspired framework, I have begun to see my present struggle with my job more clearly.
The conversation from last Saturday night serves as a beautiful prelude to the conversation I had just this morning. I heard about a woman on staff at Midtown who worked for PWC prior to running the Finance Department at Midtown. In an uncharacteristic surge of boldness, I introduced myself to her after Church a couple weeks ago and asked her to meet with me. I have been eagerly anticipating our time together for the last two weeks because I felt sure that the Lord had something there. Our time at Bongo East this morning was remarkable. Although our personalities differ, we have had similar experiences and have similar desires.
Evy listened to me give background and describe my current situation and shared her own story with me. She validated and affirmed my reactions and desires in a knowing and comforting way, which in and of itself is meaningful. Speaking from her own experience, she delicately reminded me that no job will be able to answer the questions that my soul in actuality is asking. She rephrased my statement, "I want to work for an organization whose mission I can identify with." as "I want my life to have meaning." She reminded me that what I believe about who I am will frame my life more than any job.
When discussing next steps, she asked me to describe my decision making style. I ensured her that it is a painstakingly laborious and thoughtful process of weighing alternatives and seeking counsel from others. I realized that in making a big decision, I am ultimately seeking for someone (often multiple people) to tell me that what I am doing is ok, even right. Evy spoke about the fact that people who are successful have the hardest time making decisions because we feel that our success is the result of our decisions and actions. Therefore we magnify them and place undue pressure on them.
In response to my statements that "I am seeking discernment about the Lord's will for my career" and "I want to be obedient to His calling," she spoke beautifully about the fact that if God is sovereign, we cannot be out of God's will. Even when we make decisions that the Lord has to correct, He is still in control. In light of that reality, she reminded me that I have the freedom to go forward and make a decision without fear. If I believe that God is sovereign, if I am seeking His will, if I know how He speaks to me, if I believe that He is in control of my mind and my desires... then go. And fear not.
What a powerful charge. There is so much freedom in that statement.
Practically speaking, I have no clue what comes next. But I am committed to walking in the freedom of the shadow of the Gospel.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
The Reason for God
Last night I ran into a friend in a completely unexpected setting. It was the best surprise I have experienced in quite some time. Through the haze of his afternoon spent tailgating, he described to me his life as a twenty-something young professional in New York City. Although by all accounts he is living an enviable life, he spoke with longing for the familiarity and ease of Nashville. In moments like those I am reminded of how grateful I am to live in such a neat town. Even this afternoon as I was sitting on the front porch of an ice cream shop in East Nashville, relishing the the taste of a free ice cream cone made possible by my latest iPhone app, ScoutMob, I thought to myself, "this doesn't happen everywhere." That fact was confirmed by my the exclusive list of cities to which this app is limited: Austin, Portland, NYC, Seattle, L.A. And tiny little Nashville. That's cute.
Anyway, I digress. What has haunted my mind today is not pride in the trendy city in which I live, but rather the immense freedom and ironic burden that I feel by knowing the truth that Jesus loves me. As I listened to my friend describe the dating game in the City and heard his longing for a relationship made improbable by geographic and emotional distance, my heart longed for him to believe that Jesus loves him. I don't mean that as a naive platitude. I mean that as an earth-shattering, life-altering, let yourself try and fathom the implications of that, truth. On the days when I believe that God's love for me is the latter rather than the former, my heart aches for those who don't know the same. Every now and then I see a glimpse of hope in this friend that leads me to believe he understands a piece of this divine story. But I long for the day when he understands more fully. Oh what I would give to be part of that conversation.
May I, and we, believe daily in the love that the Lord has lavished on us, that we would be called children of God.
This morning at Midtown we heard about the new life in faith that God is calling us to live in. Randy dared us to believe that the very place we are in right now represents the spectacular will of God. In prior weeks he challenged us to thank God for the very circumstance we would give anything to change. I always feel empowered when I remember to take my mind off of my immediate circumstances and pause to consider the magnitude of what is possible through Christ. When I remember that my faith does not solely serve the purpose of punching my ticket to Heaven, but rather to participate in the very great and precious promises of the divine, I feel energized rather than fatigued. I feel brave and strong rather than anxious and frail. I feel sure of my purpose rather than wishing my weekdays would turn into weekends.
In light of my conversation with my friend last night, this morning I had the thought, what if my purpose is to tell people that Jesus loves them? Underneath the guise of an auditor, even? What if the entire reason that I went through the MAcc program and spent the last year working for Deloitte is to win the right to be heard? What if the Lord's love for His people is so extravagant that He would orchestrate such an unlikely series of events for a simple conversation between two people who would otherwise never meet? You know what, I'm really ok with that. In fact, that story that I might have just fabricated in my mind makes more sense to me than anything else. Whether I hit the nail on the head or am 3948 miles out in left field, I want to believe that I am participating in the divine. After all, how else can I respond to the fact that His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
Anyway, I digress. What has haunted my mind today is not pride in the trendy city in which I live, but rather the immense freedom and ironic burden that I feel by knowing the truth that Jesus loves me. As I listened to my friend describe the dating game in the City and heard his longing for a relationship made improbable by geographic and emotional distance, my heart longed for him to believe that Jesus loves him. I don't mean that as a naive platitude. I mean that as an earth-shattering, life-altering, let yourself try and fathom the implications of that, truth. On the days when I believe that God's love for me is the latter rather than the former, my heart aches for those who don't know the same. Every now and then I see a glimpse of hope in this friend that leads me to believe he understands a piece of this divine story. But I long for the day when he understands more fully. Oh what I would give to be part of that conversation.
May I, and we, believe daily in the love that the Lord has lavished on us, that we would be called children of God.
This morning at Midtown we heard about the new life in faith that God is calling us to live in. Randy dared us to believe that the very place we are in right now represents the spectacular will of God. In prior weeks he challenged us to thank God for the very circumstance we would give anything to change. I always feel empowered when I remember to take my mind off of my immediate circumstances and pause to consider the magnitude of what is possible through Christ. When I remember that my faith does not solely serve the purpose of punching my ticket to Heaven, but rather to participate in the very great and precious promises of the divine, I feel energized rather than fatigued. I feel brave and strong rather than anxious and frail. I feel sure of my purpose rather than wishing my weekdays would turn into weekends.
In light of my conversation with my friend last night, this morning I had the thought, what if my purpose is to tell people that Jesus loves them? Underneath the guise of an auditor, even? What if the entire reason that I went through the MAcc program and spent the last year working for Deloitte is to win the right to be heard? What if the Lord's love for His people is so extravagant that He would orchestrate such an unlikely series of events for a simple conversation between two people who would otherwise never meet? You know what, I'm really ok with that. In fact, that story that I might have just fabricated in my mind makes more sense to me than anything else. Whether I hit the nail on the head or am 3948 miles out in left field, I want to believe that I am participating in the divine. After all, how else can I respond to the fact that His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
My Lost Lexicon
As I sat in the Newark airport en route to Spain to visit my baby sister, I skeptically opened my roommate's copy of Love in the Time of Cholera. Perpetually jealous of her collection of classic novels, I had asked her to select a few books for me to take on my two week trip. Unfortunately I only managed to finish twelve pages before my parents' flight from Memphis landed, but in those few pages I was greeted by members of my long lost lexicon that kindled in me a range of emotion that I could have scarcely anticipated. It seemed as though the words on the page were jumping out of my memory and back into my stream of consciousness. And what a reunion it was.
In preparation for those pesky college admission exams several years ago, my school distributed a Lexicon for Logophiles to each girl in the Junior class. Compiled by the legend herself, Patricia Newberry, this treasure chest of words represented nothing more than burdensome busywork to many of my classmates. As we spent weeks memorizing this intricate collection of tragically underused verbiage, I however fell in love with the subtle beauty of language.
Fast forward seven years and I find myself cheating on my first love with numbers. Although I filled my high school schedule with AP English and History classes, purposefully selected a liberal arts college and pursued a major that encouraged me to read, write and speak, I somehow stumbled into a career in public accounting. I find this turn of events terribly ironic due to the fact that I painfully struggled through my finance and economics classes, always preferring to communicate through words rather than numbers. Only through my affair with financial statements have I rediscovered my love for words. And in response to my reunion with my first love, I am challenging myself to write and think and process outside of my head and onto the Internet. How trendy of me. I am setting no boundaries and choosing no theme, only pressing myself to further explore my own thoughts and sprinkle them with adverbs and adjectives that I vow never to forget again.
In preparation for those pesky college admission exams several years ago, my school distributed a Lexicon for Logophiles to each girl in the Junior class. Compiled by the legend herself, Patricia Newberry, this treasure chest of words represented nothing more than burdensome busywork to many of my classmates. As we spent weeks memorizing this intricate collection of tragically underused verbiage, I however fell in love with the subtle beauty of language.
Fast forward seven years and I find myself cheating on my first love with numbers. Although I filled my high school schedule with AP English and History classes, purposefully selected a liberal arts college and pursued a major that encouraged me to read, write and speak, I somehow stumbled into a career in public accounting. I find this turn of events terribly ironic due to the fact that I painfully struggled through my finance and economics classes, always preferring to communicate through words rather than numbers. Only through my affair with financial statements have I rediscovered my love for words. And in response to my reunion with my first love, I am challenging myself to write and think and process outside of my head and onto the Internet. How trendy of me. I am setting no boundaries and choosing no theme, only pressing myself to further explore my own thoughts and sprinkle them with adverbs and adjectives that I vow never to forget again.
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